Limousine rental in Moldova   Tel. Limousine rental in Moldova

The “Limousines” company offers you to read and remember the preferable wedding jokes.

prikolnaia-nevesta***

Have you called my father?

Yes, I’ve called him.

And what did he say about our wedding?

He doesn’t remember me, but he isn’t against our wedding

***

The little girl was invited for the first time at wedding. There he asked her mother:

Why is bride in white dress?

Darling, the white color is the color of happiness, and for the bride today is a very special day.

Mommy, why then the groom is in black?

***

A young man asks his girlfriend to be his wife.

She asks him immediately: Will you quit smoking, drinking and playing cards?

He answered: Sure!

In this case you’ll be a man without lacks.

No, I have one.

And what is it? – asks she.

I’m a liar.

***

The groom before wedding asks his wife’s brother:

Please, take the scissors and cut a stripe of hair from your sister’s head. And I will give you 5 dollars.

The bride’s brother says: For 10 dollars I will bring you the entire wig.

***

After the wedding my wife said that I don’t pay her the needed attention.

Do you know, dear, there is a Japanese aphorism related:

“After you catch the fish, you don’t need to feed it more”!

***

 Perfect husband and wife:
-Dear husband lets taste brandy!
-My dear, I’l be soon, as soon as wash floor!
***
Frenchwoman decided to marry moldavian.
Her parents worry that they are unfamiliar with his  relatives.
They can not come to Moldova and ask a daughter for sending a groom’s parents photo of to have an idea of his parents.
Father of the groom long rummaging through photos and found this picture: her dad sitting on a chair, and mother is standing near.
The bride’s parents, seeing this picture, very sharply responded: savages, women discrimination.
How can he sit when she stands.
Daughter began to cry when he saw the parents’ reaction to photos of her fiance.
Bride told her darling about the reaction of her parents.
He replied: – nonsense, write to your parents, that this picture was taken after the wedding.
Wedding night, let them understand!
Father can not stand, and Mom can not sit.

***
In order to check on her husband’s fidelity, should be asked in the morning at her sleeping husband:
now stay with me or go home?

***
- I made a nice expensive gift to my dear mother-in-law – gold ring with diamonds.
- Wife’s mother does not come for three months to us and doesn’t calling.
— What happened?
- That I had with her condition.

***
- Basil, I think  to go somewhere to have fun today.
Today there have two suggestions:
- First – is to go to the wedding, and the second to the funeral.
What to choose?
- Let us choose a funeral.
- Why?
- To don’t give gifts.

***

Died old and very prosperous Jew.
His family gathered after the funeral, to learn about the will. Notary them reads:
- I Fliman Isakovitch Abram, I am in perfect health and a solid mind.
I want to inform you Slade all the remaining money from me before death I spent on girls of easy virtue.

***

- My daughter, why do you want to marry such an ugly guy?
Look at his face, nose, ears.
- Mom I already 39 years old, I need to start from someone.

***
Mother-in-law gives a bundle of money to son-in-law and said:
- I want to be buried in the Kremlin wall only!
Son-in-law  leave.
Returned in the evening drunk as a lord and his mother-in-law says:
- There I arranged for tomorrow at lunch be prepared.